My name is Paul McCabe and I’m 48 year old man, who was married for 20 years and have 3 beautiful children.
with the Covid-19 Lockdown where I couldn’t see my Children or my own parents, family or friends brought the depression and anxiety flooding back again. As I know it did for a lot of people, so I have decided to share my story.
I’m from The Metropolis of Lurgan, Co Armagh my Depression & Anxiety began around 8 years ago while going through a Divorce and having my world ripped apart and divided up by Barristers and judges in the high court in Belfast while I was fighting in Craigavon Court ( my local court ) about my visitation rights with my three kids.
For the first time in my life I felt I didn’t have any say or control over my own life and it hit my like a tonne of bricks when depression came to visit ( hello darkness my old friend ) it was like someone took my batteries out.. So I, unfortunately, turned to drink (which fed the depression and anxiety) and lashing out at everyone who was trying to help me, family and friends, that is, because I was like a wounded animal and in pain and didn’t want anyone to come near me even if They’re trying to help.
The solicitors & Barristers want to keep the fight continuing as it lines their pockets, but when you’re in a Bad place you can’t see the wood for the trees and the fighting legally goes back and forth and was very destructive on both my wife and me but definitely hardest on the kids, who loved us both and had to watch us tear strips off each other, and for that, I will always be regretful!
My Counselling sessions started about 6 years ago when I realised I wanted life to go away! But had 3 kids I needed and wanted to live for!
I tried to keep my problems secret from my friends and family but they knew I was putting an act on when I was high fiving people and cracking jokes in my mums and on nights out. When I went back home I took my clowns mask off and collapsed due to the efforts of the Act.
Fresh Air, Family, Friends & your G.P signposting you to professional organisations that are trained and can walk you away from the feeling that you’re in the abyss, are the key that helps you to open that dungeon door, where Depression wants you to stay and keep it company.
You have to put your hand up and ask for help, Take the help and Take back your life! because it’s SO worth living!
Today’s a good day and tomorrow will be even better!
The hardest step Is asking for help and it’s impossible to run from or hide from what’s inside your head.
The Confident smile in public can hide a world of pain in private.. But, Family, Friends, Fresh Air & Your Own G.P’s are the go to places.
Find out about one of the fantastic organisations in your area that are HERE & WANT to help you open that door inside your head and unpack the clutter, getting rid of the heavy dark thoughts and keeping the Happy-Good thoughts, helping the Fog to clear. It really lightens the load ” It Certainly Did For Me ” Enjoy Your Day Folks.
Mental Health Services in your area
To search for any services available in your Health and Social Care Trust area, go to:
Friends and Family
Friends and relations often notice changes in you. They become concerned. Talking to them may be a relief to them and helpful to you.
You can take someone with you to a doctor’s appointment if you’re worried about going alone.
If you’re under 18
Talk to your parents or someone with parental responsibility for you. You could also talk to a teacher, youth worker, doctor, or contact Childline. It’s free to telephone Childline. You don’t need to tell them your name.
Your college or university may have a counsellor you could talk to. For more information, contact student services at your college or university.
Nightline is a confidential telephone support service for students, run by students. You can find out about Nightline services in your area on the National Nightline website.